five things sakura will never tell sasuke
by keouil
Summary: because when it comes to sasuke and sakura, some things are better left unsaid.


i. sakura is afraid of him.

she doesn't have to say it, because even if she tries so hard not to flinch or tense or react at his mere proximity he has eyes that see through everything and even if she has molded herself to be strong after all those years her one true weakness and driving force has been him. _it has always been him._

one time when they were training he was suddenly too close and she was trying so hard not to notice he was too close her resolve wavered and he saw the telltale sign of a tremble on her lip. she sees him looking. so she covers it up by smiling instead.

sasuke never brings it up.

.

.

ii. sakura is still in love with him.

she tries not to, she really does, and gives herself credit for at least not having him occupy most of her headspace not all unlike how she was at twelve. no, she is better than that now. she knows it is foolish to spend daydreams slaving over a man, but then _sasuke was never just any man,_ and theirs was a relationship that was never just a dream.

it was real. so achingly real as the memory of birds chirping that gloomy afternoon as his hand nearly penetrated her heart, completely shattering her core along with whatever shells remained of her dreams for him, her, _them._ and she realized the heartbreaking reality that this man she slaved over for too long didn't even spare one passing thought at her life and was unmistakenly, mercilessly, going to end it just like that.

but its okay, because she is better than this now isn't she. she is a woman of honor and hard work because not everyone is a born genius. so she is book-smart, not street-smart no, and she justifies that maybe this is why even after, _and despite of,_ everything – she still loves him.

.

.

iii. sakura also loves naruto.

she doesn't expect it, doesn't even really think of a moment in time where she saw him differently. because just suddenly, one day without warning, his eyes were so blue and he was so tall and warm and _comforting,_ that she couldn't do anything else but stare and say _"oh."_

she doesn't breathe a word of this to anyone.

and never gets the chance.

because all at once the war is over and he was starting to look at hinata the way he did at her when they were younger, and so she thinks she is the _world's biggest fool_. because if this was how naruto has looked at her all these years then surely she was worth something. no one is so full of love for everyone and everything at the same time and yet still be able to reserve a little bit of something in his eyes she knows is _just for her,_ all those years all for her, and so she is really the biggest fool.

.

.

iv. sakura loves herself more.

thinking of all the things she has done in her life, trying to trigger a near-death recollection of her own life's highlight reel, she sees three things.

one, the day her genin team was announced. she was happy, _so happy,_ to finally be with him in a way she knows the rest of her class wouldn't be. because even though sasuke appeared indifferent she knew there would be moments he would have to cross her, even if it was just to ask about training or where kakashi was or to tell her _she was annoying._

second, the day she finally gathered the courage to barge into the hokage's office and ask, dangerously leaning on demand, that she be her apprentice. because sakura is not street-smart, but she knew how things were going to go once she saw naruto spend just a little more time with jiraiya more than kakashi and sasuke making it clear he was going to get stronger by finding orochimaru. she just knew.

and lastly, the day the hokage officially declared that war was over and they were going to be okay from now on. how she could practically feel naruto's giddiness over the long overdue team seven reunion he was looking forward to and sakura not having the heart to tell him he was the only one who ever really did.

because in truth, she stopped daydreaming over men the moment she recognized just how strong she really was without them. she was a famed kunoichi, one of the best of her generation; and an even better medic, who was kind and compassionate.

she may still love uchiha sasuke – but she knows it is a fleeting infatuation, a memory she owes and is burdened by nostalgia, and so she humours it one more time as she welcomes him back home with genuine happiness.

after that, she would work on healing herself. ridding herself of anything else that would hinder her self-growth, because heaven knows she is so far behind,

.

.

v. and because she is better now ㅡ_ she doesn't tell him yes when he asks._


End file.
